Such a sweet drug, her dreams.  Seducing her to a place where she may bend the facts of her existence, allowing the indulging of her heart’s content.

Yet the tenor of the drug, the night, turns on a dime.

She finds herself awake, twisting and tortured like a fish suspended just above the surface of the water. 

Endless cups of coffee.  Pacing.  Burning of the incandescent midnight oil. When will it end, she wonders?  And what will the final cost be, for doses of caffeine, wear and tear on socks that clad cold feet, the spike in her electric bill-and for this newly acquired lack of slumber?

Those blissful, distant-memory nights.  When the minute-hand scribed the surface of the clock face eight times without her bearing witness to the fact.  When refreshing, unbroken rest was paid out as reward at the end of an honest day.

Yet the nights held no promise of such dreams.

She sips her coffee.  Dims the chandelier.  Walks to the window where the moon bathes her in natural light, certain that when her dreams become reality, this reality will end.

And she will sleep.



A dream has power to poison sleep

– Mutability, Percy Bysshe Shelley

10 thoughts on “Insomnia

  1. What a powerful description of insomnia. It really does leave you ‘like a fish suspended just above the water’. Thank you for sharing this and thank you for jumping in. LM x

  2. I used to sleep, soundly, all night long. Until I turned 40 and now I pray for 3 hours at a time, I hope against hope that I will not be twisting inside my fleece sheets, hot, then cold, then hot and so incredibly tired, from midnight til 3.

    you described it so well, the fish suspended, the pacing and walking, the thoughts that never stop.

    I’m so glad you’re writing again. I love your words, admire and am in awe of them, but didn’t realize how much I MISSED them until right now.

  3. Eight hours… such a long-lost memory. Great reflection on insomnia, Valerie, with some stupendous turns of phrase. The ending, though. I keep reading it, wondering. Touché.

  4. I concur with all of the above comments. This is an efficiently-expressed description of insomnia and its torturous effects. Love it!

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