Monthly Archives: April 2015

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98136

I envied her, emulated her-desired to be her,

and as such I could then love myself,

not

realizing the need

that we reflect our own truth.

~

Zip code day 3.

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85635

Crimson once, yet now the loveliest octopus hue,

my ancient dictionary, eighty years

faded, fore edge dotted white with

thumb tab tentacles

embracing me in wordy hugs.

~

Zip Code day 2

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22030

Be all

that beautiful.

*

On the inside.

*

~

Zip code day 1. Places I’ve lived. Each piece, five lines, with the number of words per line matching the numbers in the zip code. The individual locations will have no bearing on what I write other than providing me with word limitations.

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(Z)ero

So sad. That it turned out like this. Unforeseen, but what a relief. To be left alone finally-yet now relegated to this frosty climate of fallen out of favor. You didn’t expect of course, hellish fury when you scorned him, he after all posing as the picture of perfect propriety even though he wasn’t.  But you did not expect this killing coldness either.  Turn up the heat if you need to, you tell yourself.  He has no idea how close he is to nothing.

~

A to Z day 26. Flash fiction fun with alliteration and double word meaning.

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(Y)et

That split second.

Before you know what’s written on the folded slip of paper you’ve drawn from an old fish bowl,

which seemed to have no purpose further than fish,

until now.

Fortunate, or not so much.

A split second away.

*

My life,

in split seconds,

slowed down as though they are under water.

Try to choose wisely, I caution myself.

Fortunate, not so much failure.

Yet, I allow, to find my purpose, it may take an ocean’s worth of slips.

~

A to Z day 25

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(X)it

You discover, in the midst of find what matters,

a different shade of hair color, slightly more auburn, macaroni and cheese made with cream, a little kid who needs to tell you he misses his best friend, just like you do, washing dishes in your black platform boots, garters and stockings worn just for yourself, a mentor of sorts who can’t thank you enough, unmeasured walks, uncountable words.

And find a way around what doesn’t.

~

A to Z day 24

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(V)al’entine

My time.

22.

Drunken dance romance, unrequited. Shocking pink shadow and black liner trying to be pretty, only to instead be called a whore. Bedroom doorknob, middle of the night turning.  Uninvited, unwelcome. Paralyzing fear. White lines, and black guns. Cigarettes, smoked down to the filter. Trying to fix it all, feel better, with brown paper bag whiskey and a shoebox full of little orange plastic white-capped bottles.

Oh I thought of myself as cheap perfume after that. 

For years.

Until I stopped apologizing.

Forgave myself.

Not for what I’d done, but for not loving myself.

Compassion and smiles and kind words.

That is what defined me, even then.

Helped me finally see.

I was Chanel all along.

~

Day 22 A to Z

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(U)ndertow

We make mistakes.

Set out the old dishes,

save the china

for better days.

We climb too high,

on ladders,

in love.

Fall, and break.

We fight the undertow.

Refuse to sink.

Yet we do anyway.

And sometimes, as we sit on the bottom, sunlight through the surface barely reaching us, we are still  allowed illumination.

That taffy, after salt water,

is sweeter.

~

A to Z day 21